Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better ~Ecclesiastes 7:3

Problems Along the American/Canadian Border

Posted: 2015-01-11

Forwarded by Lyle Rapacki 1-11-14

The Manitoba Herald:

 
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.  The Republicans winning the Senate is prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
 live according to the Constitution.

 

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

 

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.  “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.  He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.  When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

 

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them.  He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.

 

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.

 

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said.  "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water.  They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though, and some kale chips."

 

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.  Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.

 

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border.  Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.  After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s.  "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

 

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.'s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies.  "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said.

 

"How many art-history majors does one country need?"

 

Share this article on:    Facebook     Google+     Twitter

 

Enter comments below:

Your Email:
Validation Code from Graphic:
Enter these characters in the field above.


(Comments subject to review before being published.)


 

Entertainment Article Summary
Replies
PostedArticle TitleTotalPending
2018-12-07 WHAT President Donald Trump just did to the ... 0 0
2018-12-02 A Taxing Issue 0 0
2018-10-18 MEN SHOULD BE SCARED OF GETTING MARRIED 0 0
2018-10-18 Hot Crazy Matrix: Man's Guide To Women 0 0
2018-08-15 Family Guy Destroys Political Correctness & ... 0 0
2018-07-29 Tim Hawkins - A Homeschool Family 0 0
2018-04-14 Liberal Farm - It's Intellectual Froglegs 0 0
2018-04-14 Profit Motive: "Going Places" 1948 Harding C... 0 0
2018-02-25 Korea You Dropped A Bomb On Me 0 0
2018-01-11 A Millenial vs A Baby Boomer 0 0
2018-01-11 Sex, Uranium & Rock & Roll - Intellectual Fr... 0 0
2018-01-11 The Capitalist that Saved America - Intellec... 0 0
2017-12-12 A Millennial Job Interview 0 0
2017-11-23 Buster Keaton's most amazing stunts 0 0
2017-05-06 FUN WATCH! "The Size of Church Bells" - Inte... 0 0
2017-05-04 Support The Americans With No Abilities Act ... 0 0
2017-04-29 Students despise Obama policies...when credi... 0 0
2017-04-23 The Case for Christ Trailer and Interview wi... 0 0
2017-04-23 Reba McEntire - Back To God 0 0
2017-04-02 I Think My Dog's a Democrat Bryan Lewis Offi... 0 0
2017-02-15 An ANTIFA Applies For A Job 0 0
2017-01-22 Intellectual Froglegs: Evolution of a Revolu... 0 0
2017-01-18 The REAL HouseWives Of ISIS 0 0
2016-11-12 Media Explained 0 0
2016-09-18 Laugh Till You Pee 0 0
2016-09-05 "It takes a Village Idiot" - Intellectual Fr... 0 0
2016-07-03 What Pisses Me Off About Social Justice Warr... 0 0
2016-07-01 "The Peasants are Revolting" Intellectual Fr... 0 0
2016-06-22 To Hillary in a Handbasket" Intellectual Fro... 0 0
2016-06-08 The Truth About Muhammad Ali 0 0
2016-06-03 Bedtime for the #NeverTrump Anger Babies - I... 0 0
2016-05-25 Mo-Hate-U: Islamic Comedian 0 0
2016-04-28 George Carlin on Global Warming 0 0
2016-03-26 John Cleese: Political Correctness Can Lead ... 0 0
2016-03-26 George Carlin - Political Correctness is fas... 0 0
2016-03-07 Jordan Page - Ballad of LaVoy Finicum (Cowbo... 0 0
2016-01-07 "There's a New Sheriff in Town" Intellectual... 0 0
2015-12-27 What If Trump Had A British Accent? 0 0
2015-12-07 Trumpnado - Intellectual Froglegs 12.06.15 0 0
2015-11-17 The Yuge Case For Donald Trump - Part 2 (Int... 0 0
2015-11-02 God's Not Dead: Argument Scenes Be sure to w... 0 0
2015-10-30 THE FUTURE OF ENTERTAINMENT: iNTELLECTUAL FR... 0 0
2015-10-29 Time for Truth Ted Cruz Anthem 0 0
2015-10-28 Ted Nugent on a Cruz Missile with Donald Tru... 0 0
2015-10-28 Playing the Trump Card (on a crooked GOP) In... 0 0
2015-10-28 THE TRUMP SONG: I Wanna Be Like The Donald 0 0
2015-09-20 Donald vs the DC Machine - Everybody hates T... 0 0
2015-08-04 Lexi Walker: America the Beautiful 0 0
2015-08-02 The Frogleg Minute(ish) - Turtlehead Edition... 0 0
2015-07-12 Regulated Freedom - Intellectual Froglegs 07... 0 0
The Latest


The Latest (cont.)


If you would like to get the latest news from EVNN,
just send an email to eastvalleynewsnetwork@gmail.com
and say "Sign me up" and you will receive
our daily news digest at your inbox.

national debt

 

 
Catching the News that others let get away...
 
- Sitemap -